16 Girls Pregnant After Boy Ejaculated Into Swimming Pool
DAGUPAN (Atras Abante Satire News Group) – A surprise birthday party went horribly wrong after girls between the age of 13 and 17 years accidentally became pregnant.
A simple weekend pool party turned to tragedy when one of the young men attending the birthday celebration ejaculated in the pool without warning on an undisclosed resort in Dagupan, accidentally ending up impregnating half of the girls present at the celebration.
“Some people in town say we had some kind of wild s*x orgy going on and that’s how I got all those girls pregnant, but I’m proud to say that I am still a virgin and that if anyone doesn’t believe me, I’m ready to undergo medical examination to prove it if that’s what it takes,” says the 15 year old. “I’ve become some sort of a local celebrity. People come up to me all the time and shake my hand and congratulate me, but I didn’t do anything!” he adds, visibly sincere.
Dr. Jose Maningding of Dagupan City Health Office, who was the first to link the multiple births to a single cause, believes the young man has a rare medical condition called spermafortis which makes his semen unusually potent. “Clinical tests have proven that people who suffer from spermafortis have sperm counts close to a thousand times more potent and rich in spermatozoids than the average man,” he explains.
“This kind of semen is fairly similar to that of common water mammals, such as dolphins, manatees and seals and has properties that make it incredibly resistant to water. This condition could definitely explain what happened in this case but clinical trials and further tests would be needed to prove this theory,” he told local reporters.