Browse By

The Philippines will start to farm Psychologically Conditioned Dolphins to Defend Territories

MANILA – Department of Science and Technology (DOST), Department of National Defense (DND) and Philippine Electronics and Neuroscience Institute Society (PENIS) to partner up to create a psychologically conditioned dolphins to defend the country’s territory from Chinese invaders.

Based from PENIS research, dolphin’s brain can be conditioned to do a very particular task and can be hot wired on an artificial neural plate that can be used to control and remotely send instruction to the brain. But before the dolphins can be controlled, it should undergo extensive amphetamine therapy and minimal to heavy neural electrocution that will be done for 6 months and it is recommended to do it on their juvenile stage. After doing that the dolphins will then undergo a surgery to install an artificial neural plate integrated with the remote neural switch that is accessed and controlled on an Intelligent Operation Center.


Initial concept designs provided by PENIS

To make sure that the neural switches can only be accessed solely by the Philippine forces, PENIS had integrated a genetic identifier where the neural switches are related to a particular genetic signature of an army personnel. The army personnel is the sole controller of the particular dolphin. But in chances that the army personnel is relieve or removed from its post, the genetic can be updated remotely with a genetic memory canister.

After a review of the research DOST and DND decided to partner up with PENIS to fully develop the technology and be used to defend the country from Chinese invaders. DND asked DOST with its sub agencies to research on a weapon that will not need a flare up to shoot, something that will work with high repulsion magnets to provide a better shooting capability underwater and without the worry of having a clog. Also DOST and DND had requested that majority of the politician’s pork barrel be used on this research, for they totally believe that PENIS research will help strengthen the defensive capability of the country against China.

The research still needs 5 years to get finished, some lawmakers had created a law to protect the research and make it happen and be delivered after 5 years. They call this law as “Dolphin Law” which will protect it from being stopped by the next president who might be thinking of using crocodiles and alligators instead, it will also prevent lawmakers from not letting the program use their pork barrels and lastly it will not allow any intervention from any other agency except DOST, DND and its partner PENIS and to legally farm it.